Written by Peter Stevenson
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Thursday, 18 November 2010

image for Kate Middleton Exposed As Time Travelling Procreation Drone
Charles apparently "had suspicions" Kate was a Procreation Drone

The announcement that Prince William and Kate Middleton will be embarking on nuptials has left the whole world rejoicing the build up to another Royal wedding.

However, shocking revelations have recently come to light that are difficult to even comprehend. Experts at MI6 have been trailing Kate for several years in response to "suspicions" over her conduct. Specifically, when drunk at social events she would often allude to floating cities, fusion power and perhaps most disturbingly, "the establishment of an ancient and powerful Royal bloodline in order to fend off invading hordes of extra-terrestrial parasitic Xenuvarians".

Often passed off a drunken posh-bird banter, MI6 has recently established that Kate has in fact been sent back in time to do just that: establish a larger line of Royal blood in order to fend off invading alien forces. To that end, Kate has been forced to reveal all to OK magazine, and excerpt of which follows.

"It is all true. I have been sent back from the year 2065 to procreate with Royal blood and create a breed of super human leaders to fend off the future Alien attacks. My genetic code has been spliced with part alien, part dinosaur so that we may be superior in every way".

Prince William is said to be "jolly well surprised" at the revelations, but insists that more than ever he wants to marry Kate. However, to save public money the wedding was initially thought to be funded by Kate's parents, but that now poses a problem.

"My parents aren't actually born until 2012", said Kate, "We have pushed back the wedding until then so they can both come but as newborns they are unlikely to be able to pay". Readers of OK have responded saying that this is "typical", with one angry reader exclaiming "Immigration is so rife now that we're even paying for the weddings of time travelling procreation drones. We are no better than the Xenuvarians. Digusting".

Kate is to give a more candid interview on the future invasion of Earth to OK in a few weeks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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