Written by IainB
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Topics: World Record

Thursday, 18 November 2010

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Twenty-two of the record attempts involve beans.

The Guinness Book of World Records is holding it's annual World Records Day in the UK today. The aim is to break the record of the most number of records broken in one day. Which would be a world record in itself, thus adding one extra to the total.

As well as the standard records, such as Usain Bolt attempting to shave another few seconds off the one hundred metres and the land speed record on a wooden bicycle, there will be a host of less well known records that are hoped will be broken.

Fifty-four people are lined up to cram into a phone booth, unless they are merely waiting for the last phone booth in England to become free. Five hundred school children in Chiswick will toss simultaneous pancakes, whilst in Finchley the home economics class at Finchley Girls School will be rolling the largest Jam Roly Poly.

In Gainsborough, the NatEast bank call centre will be breaking off from offering loans to the unemployed for one morning in order to all play tennis on the same court. With a hundred and fifty staff, this will smash the previous record by one hundred and forty.

Bill Nonamici of Worcester should be completing his marathon stint of sitting in a bath of baked beans, whilst next to him, Stuart Pidget will be finishing his record of eating a bath of beans. Also in Worcester, Jamie Bustard will be leaping over thirty toy buses on a child's tricycle and Hope Less and her sisters Charity and Faith, will attempt to break the women's frog hurling record.

"It's going to be a busy day," said the ghost of Norris McWater. "It should also raise a lot of money for Children in Need, as most of the attempts are being sponsored."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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