Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Thursday, 18 November 2010

image for The Curse of Princess Diana's Engagement Ring
The cursed monkey who stole the cursed sapphire

A close friend of Diana, Princess of Wales has tonight revealed that Diana knew her engagement ring was cursed but never had time to tell her family before she died.

She was told of the curse by an Indian man she met in a midnight bizarre in Istanbul. He said he had spent his entire life trying to tell her, but he never got the chance to because he was always stopped by security.

But two days before she died, he told her the story of the Tamari Sapphire, which he believed had taken up residence in Diana's engagement ring.

The Tamari Sapphire was stolen by a monkey from an Indian High Priestess who worshipped the Goddess Khali. The monkey then ate the Sapphire, which enraged the Priestess. So she cursed the little creature with all the wrath of the Goddess. Unfortunately by doing this the priestess accidentally cursed the Sapphire as well.

The monkey then became owned by a wealthy American who took the sapphire and made it into a necklace for the love of his life. She was a Parisian dancing girl called Nicole who wore the Sapphire as she danced on stage in a club in Monmartre.

After this gift was given, the dancing girl began to lead a cursed life, and died at the age of 22 by drowing on an archaelogical dig in Egypt. She drowned in the middle of the desert, during the first rain storm in 100 years. She had only been there one day.

The Sapphire's next victim was a dog, who stood on it by accident and cut his paw. He got blood poisoning and died within a week.

The Sapphire then fell into the hands of a Bolivian drug dealer who eventually traded it to the British Government in exchange for a disused nuclear submarine.

The British Government gave the sapphire to MI6 who had it made into a ring with a small tracking device, especially for Prince Charles to give to his doomed Princess. The ring was supposed to keep The Princess safe, but instead because of the curse it, took her life.

Now the ring has found a new home, and hopefully a happy, fairytale ending for Kate Middleton.

By Katarina Frogpond.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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