London - (Portents): The happy couple have picked Friday 1st July to get hitched.
It would have been Princess Diana's 50th birthday and is way too good an opportunity to pass over milking.
A bit of help from astrology pals has seen Wills and Kate delighting in the day's Cancer new moon - a sure sign of splendid new beginings.
Just one teensy fly in the zodiac ointment that day shows Pluto - celestial Lord of Riches, Karma, and bloody great big dosh ups from the gas state of Qatar - oppose the Cancerian Sun-Moon conjunction.
Fortunately the late Queen Mother's very own Lucky Rabbit Foot marriage amulet could save the day.
Its legendary supernatural powers have the ability to dispel bad luck, halitosis and pessimism among cash-strapped UK taxpayers.
The last time a royal had reason to thank its miraculous properties was when Camilla won fifty quid on a bumper race at Ascot.
Race favorite Shergar's Double came in second, about five lengths behind the Duchess who was ridden by Frankie De Tory.
Lord Lucan's coke dealer is 69.