Bucklebury - (Ass Mess): Wannabe royal father-in-law Michael Middleton is a dead ringer for convicted serial murderer Peter Tobin.
The uncanny facial similarity has stunned New Scotland Yard's mugshots division.
Police sources now want to double check the entire Middleton family's DNA 'in case a monster's lurking'.
Yesterday widespread media reports suggested that Kate herself - like Wills - is a bit of a cuckoo in the nest.
Royal Protection Racket cops will now upgrade their files which suggest Samantha Cameron and Mark Thatcher may be Kate's actual birth parents.
Such details could be unfortunate iof they ever slipped out into the media.
Meanwhile uber-social climber and royal mother-in-law-to-be Carole is keeping mum about why Kate looks nothing like any other member of the Middleton family.
Apart from mrs Thatcher, that is.