Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 17 November 2010

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She's not coming

Prince William, the man who this week announced that he will marry his long-time girlfriend Kate Middleton in a full-scale Nazi wedding next spring or summer, has been accused in some Royal circles of being the master of the bleeding obvious in relation to some of his comments in his newsbreaking speech.

William, 28, told reporters that he had presented Kate with his mother's (Princess Diana's) engagement ring, because:

"It's my mother's engagement ring so I thought it was quite nice because obviously she's not going to be around to share any of the fun and excitement of it all - this was my way of keeping her close to it all."

A bit too obvious that, I think. Or should I pretend I don't know Princess Diana is dead?

"Oh, really? Why won't she be coming then, William?"

He went on:

"No-one is trying to fill my mother's shoes."

Of course they aren't. Your mother doesn't have any shoes, does she, you twerp.

Or does the Prince think that, in theory, at least, it's possible for his mother's shoes to be filled by Miss Middleton? What a strange notion that would be!

Social commentator Moys Kenwood summed it up thusly:

"What a plank! He is the Master of the Bleeding Obvious, and I hereby bestow upon him the supreme honour of Royal Babbler and Bullshitter."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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