Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 16 November 2010

image for College of Psychic Studies channels Diana fury
Diana's well pisst at her ring giveaway

London - (Hexoplasm): "Five score and ten years the ring be cursed, who'er shall wear it her heart will burst!"

The grim words channelled this afternoon belie the full wrath of Diana's hex.

College sensitive Miss Stenoria Valvuziadis found herself spluttering out the Princess's curse during a private moment taking a slash.

Blanket TV coverage of the blood diamond and sapphire engagement ring that wrecked Diana's rubbish marriage must have triggered the spontaneous outburst.

A quick saniwipes flourish and yet another mouthful of hexoplasmic Diana rage spewed forth from the College's First Floor Ladies cubicle:

"Cursed be she who wears this ring - As I was cursed for shagging Steve Bing!"

(Who he? - Ed)

The US multi-millionaire founder of the Shangri-La business group once seduced Ditzy Di on a Manhattan sofa, accidentally leaving a crinkly pubic hair trapped in its diamond-encrusted setting.

That may have irrevocably damaged the ring's karmic aura which now holds daftass Kate Middleton in its baleful clutches.

Chelsey Davy is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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