Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 16 November 2010

image for Prince William And Kate Middleton Wedding Off - Shocking U-Turn!
There's A Tidy Little Boozer Down There Wills. Let's Have It Son.

A shocking U-turn today from Clarence House as the announcement was released that Prince William and Kate Middleton are not really getting married after all.

The announcement came hot on the heels of an earlier announcement to the effect that the Prince and Kate were to marry, an announcement which sparked a media feeding frenzy.

With members of the press gorging on BLT's, fast food chain burgers, and pizza.

It seems the original announcement was withdrawn following a reported argument between William and Kate over who would sleep on the wall side of the bed once they are spliced.

Prince William apparently pulled rank on Kate, saying that she should sleep next to the wall because, being a Prince and therefore more important, he is the one most likely to be roused from sleep in the event of a national emergency, and that it would be undignified for a man of his standing to have to clamber over his recumbent wife in order to get to his carpet slippers.

That and ease of access to the en-suite bathroom.

Apparently, Kate argued the point, saying that if she were to get pregnant, she'd have to have quick access to the en-suite in the event of morning sickness.

Apparently the couple couldn't reach agreement, and Kate screamed at the Prince repeatedly that she hated him.

The Prince then reportedly mumbled a two syllable epithet and said that the wedding was off and that he was going down the pub with his dad, and Kate could stick her wedding plans up her arse.

Clarence House apologised for any misunderstanding.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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