London - (Rioters): Royal Protection Racket cops sources said today the pair of seedy lookalikes had finally managed to pull it off.
Prince William's doppelganger will wed Kate Middleton's body double after getting the nod from the Palace.
Years of schmoozing the Establishment and the press had finally paid off handsome dividends with the hoax going largely unnoticed.
Last weekend Gorgon Brown's little bastard spawn got the top PR job to showcase his credentials with a Poppy Day celebration at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan.
Middleton too is a class act, mainly because of successive government gagging writs that silenced the DNA division of the National Poisons Unit.
So is she really Samantha Cameron's unknown firstborn brat?
No one is prepared to confirm or deny the story 'because Big Dave Cameron's got the knuckledusters ready'.
Chelsy Davy is past caring.