Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 16 November 2010

image for Kate Middleton's coke-dealer uncle barred from royal nuptials
Dodgy Uncle Gary is persona non grata

London - (Reuterus): Gary Goldsmith is banned from next year's wedding after bringing disgrace to the Middleton family name.

Last year he was caught by reporters in a classic red top sting after bragging about his 'By Royal Appointment' status.

Goldsmith, 69, turned an Ibiza holiday hideaway into a lavish party palace after a mysterious get-rich-quick scheme propelled him into $$$s opulence.

Locals say he may now change his name and become a goodwill ambassador for South American rehab charities.

Also banned from the 2011 shindig are various Middleton family 'black sheep' such as Uncle Cyril - (currently languishing in Broadmoor on GBH charges) and Great Aunt Dymphna, a former financial consultant to disgraced ponzi scammer Bernard Madoff.

Today's wedding announcement has not specified the exact date or location of the 2011 event but the smart money is 'on April 1st' at an Isle of Dogs registry orifice.

Camilla Fucker-Bowles is stark raving bonkers.

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