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Sunday, 14 November 2010

image for Armistice day 'Poppy-cocks' were heroin addicts
The subtext

Reports today suggest that the Muslims Against Crusades (MAC) group that burnt poppies during a two minute silence to mark the anniversary of Armistice Day, were in fact heroin addicts who hoodwinked themselves into purchasing the poppies in the belief they would be able to extract opium from them.

The Metropolitan Police believe the burning was initially to test the quality of the merchandise and latterly to symbolize a business transaction gone awry, rather than a direct assault on the war dead.

An MAC member who wished to remain nameless, seemed to confirm the reports.

'We were approached by this guy selling hundreds of poppies, and at the time we couldn't believe our luck. He had a whole tray of them. When we told him to 'hold it down' because there were police everywhere he got it a bit edgy, so we ended up buying the lot off him. We were going to turn them into heroin and whatever we didn't use ourselves was going to be sold and the money spent on terrorism. The burning was our way of saying 'we want our money back.''

This revelation has lead to the police dropping charges against the two Muslim protestors arrested at the scene for public order offences.

A police spokesman said there were not grounds to proceed with charging the men as they had none of the class A substance in their possession. In addition the group's misguided analysis of the poppies also made it difficult to prove any intent to incite hatred.

'These were drug heads who in complete desperation believed the purchased poppies would lead to an unparalled high and ready cash, which they do in most instances.'

Police, who nicknamed the group 'the poppy-cocks,' considered a charge of intent to supply but were put off by the paperwork.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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