Written by Neil Levine
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Topics: Tony Blair, America

Friday, 15 July 2005

image for Tony Blair To Rock The Palace
British-American Star Chamber Music

London and Washington---Tony Blair, glamorous and still upright Prime Minister of America's best ally across the Atlantic, The Brits, also known as the United Kingdom across what once was called the pond, has announced that he is tired of all the hassle, turmoil, conniving, scheming and aggravation involved in Parliamentary politics. So he has officially decided to join a rock and roll band. As he has always wanted to do.


"Look at what Jack Black accomplished by applying a little initiative. A little Gaul. And some imagination. He got all the kids to sing like canaries. If that can be done in the Colonies, think of what can be done in The Olde Worlde where some of our music via the magic of static electricity applied judiciously has been aged for quite some time."


With Cherie modeling (see the absolutely unrelated and completely unrelenting and unencumbered story elsewhere on this site), Tony has lots of time on his hands and little to keep him gainfully occupied what with the war on terror becoming harder to cope with, harder to explain, more time consuming and less rewarding in the sense of political return on effort expended and most other political efforts facing the standard usual usual and another Olympic victory not expected before 2012, if then. So, in his infinite wisdom and seeking to get away with it all, PM Blair has decided, "Ten Downing Street is going to Rock.


"Listen up. It's time to kick off your booties and shake, rattle and roll."


"I'm tired of making polite speeches in front of quiet and unquestioning gatherings of little old ladies and doddering older men whose primary interest is in grandfathering National Health Care to the streets and whose dreams of growing old gracefully have surpassed their wildest expectations and whose visions of rocking chairs rolling to the local cinema have been forgotten along with so many of life's other sweet and sour disappointments.


I personally prefer Cadbury's, if you want to know what my sweet tooth yearns for."


"What I need is a driving beat. Music stirs my soul and pumps up my volume. Screaming fans, rowdy crowds, noise makers. That's the ticket."


"Not any band, mind you, but a real, full fledged Lords of Rock group with my close buds: Mick J., who will be the front man, Bill, who will play tenor sax and Ashy John A., Trend Alott, Larry Krigg, Jeffy Jeff Jeffords, who will all find useful roles to play."


"I'm tired of playing second fiddle to Gee Dubya. He has a tin ear any way so fiddle dee dee."


"That Olympic win was chastening. There is no new money in the exchequer and I just want to have fun."


"The circus never appealed to me, but music soothes the savage beat."


"Cherie can sing backup if she has the time and inclination. After dealing with those powder whigged solicitors all day, she certainly needs a break Today."


"Tickets will be available on a first see, then be seated, please come on in basis. Just bring a cozy blanket or magic rug and get a load off your mind."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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