Written by Nae mair crap
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Thursday, 11 November 2010

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what a beezer of an idea

Rich families, in the South East of England and Cheshire, ditch their Eastern European au pairs and sign up for £1 an hour, welfare benefit, benefits it is reported.

Realising that there was money to be made from poor people on benefits, Aranxta Cholmondley Mainwaring, a posh lady in Peckham, has set up her own website, shhhhhhhhhkeepittoyourself.org.

Mrs whatdoyoucallher has sussed that she can provide thousands of menial, cleaning and au pairing jobs for benefit claimants in the UK. Simply by sacking all their Eastern European slaves, thousands of rich bitches, just like her, can take on lazy, won't work or want, Welfare scroungers.

She has held secret, hush hush meetings with officials from the Department of Social Security and has been given the go ahead.

Her first task was to ask for 4 unemployed IT professionals, who she will pay at £1 an hour to set up a state of the art suite of spreadsheets and databases. She soon had her 4 Ph.D IT experts hard at work in the garden shed of her Peckham palace.

Visits to her new empire have been arranged for call me Dave and Cleggers, accompanied by Eric (cow pie) Piclelilly and Ian Dungpan Smith. Spry News sent along Madam Ballton in a scoop for the Tories favourite broadcaster.

The politicians are over the moon, except CowPie who can't even see the moon for his chinnny chin chins, because they had not thought of this extremely novel and damn greedy way to reduce the number of Eastern Europeans and get thousands off the dole at a stroke.

The scheme will be monitored, but will very quickly be spread to all other parts of the country.

Mrs Cholmondley Mainwaring can be contacted c/o the Prime Ministers wife, her sister!

Ian Dungpan Smith smiled widely and is alleged to have asked if he could have £4 worth to paint his house next week, we might be able to reopen the mines in Yorkshire and Wales at this rate. It's a bloody good deal, £1 a day, glad I thought of this.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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