London - (Slitherin Slutz Mess): London soothsayers are adamant: tomorrow's Deathly Hallows Part 1 London premiere is cursed beyond salvation.
Frantic calls to management at the Odious Cinema in Leicester Square have fallen on deaf ears - despite overwhelming supernatural evidence of disaster befalling the screen debut.
A Remembrance Day psychic vision of JK Rowling's arrest for plagiarism, story theft and persecution of the 'rightful' author of all seven Harry Potter books have been dismissed as 'a loada hexoplasm'.
At New Scotland Yard tonight the Met's Serious & Disorganised Crime division denied responsibility for the story.
"Our own highly experienced tarot readers would have warned us about such a development," a desk sergeant commented.
"That's not to say it isn't true, of course."
Emma Watson is 69.