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Wednesday, 10 November 2010

image for Ammit the Devourer stalks Queen's soul in Remembrance Day shocker!
I'm not going to drop dead on Thursday George just so you can win a sordid wager

London - (Book of the Dead Chapter 9/11): An image of Egyptian funerary deity Ammit the Devourer has appeared clawing at the Queen's bedroom window.

Frantic Ladies of the Bedchamber said today the part lion/hippo/crocodile entity looked as if it was chewing a Remembrance poppy in its snout.

A hurried phone call to the British Museum confirmed that Ammit appears on the fabled Papyrus of Ani currently on show in their Egyptian Book of the Dead exhibition.

She is depicted in the scene of the Weighing of the Heart where Anubis, god of the afterlife, weighs the deceased's heart against Ma'at, goddess of truth.

"Those judged impure of heart would be snaffled up by Ammit," museum curators explained, "who would then swallow up and excrete the residue in a public latrine next to where the Sphinx is located."

Online bookies immediately shortened the odds of the Queen dropping dead on Remembrance Day to 11/10 on-Fav.

Prince Philip's funerary sarcophagus once held Tutenkhamun's pet lizard.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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