A complete revamp of UK Airport security has been revealed by Exiled Royal.
Documents from the Home Office, and seen by our reporter, Bernie Evidence, disclose that we will be able to take whatever we want to the Airport, but that nothing will be transported to our destination. Instead it will be destroyed at source.
This new move has been championed by Ryanair, who say that this is what they have been doing for many years.
In addition to these measures travellers will be required, bar none, to strip bollock naked and to be photographed in various poses. Images will then be passed on to various online Porn Sites, the remuneration to each airline going towards cheaper fares.