Written by queen mudder

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Tuesday, 9 November 2010

image for Cheryl Cole mosquito in Didier Drogba sting
Was one of these was found in Cheryl's butt-crease?

London - (Ass Mess): Earlier this year it laid low Chelsea left back Ashley Cole's former missus, its toxic venom very nearly laying her out cold on live TV.

Now the pesky malaria-carrying mozzie has gone for Chelsea centre forward Didier Drogba, an infected bite on his gluteus maximus swelling up to the size of a melon.

Doctors at the London Hospital for Tropical Diseases say the two cases are unrelated.

But a distinctive smiley-face pattern around the bite mark appears to be identical - suggesting an accomplice at the very least if not a copycat sting op.

"Cheryl has not been sleeping with Didier Drogba," the singer's PR stressed today.

"Besides, even if she had - which of course she hasn't - it's hardly likely she'd have brought the bastard insect along with her into the sack.....just to nip Didi in the butt for no reason."

Derek Hough is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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