Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 9 November 2010

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Rosso Noso in court yesterday

Rosso Naso, a Children's Entertainer from Basingstoke has been arrested today after admitting that he liked children.

"It's disgusting," said local mum, Samantha Panther. "Grown men shouldn't be allowed into a profession where they have contact with kids if they openly admit to liking them."

Naso has been running his successful one man show in and around the Basingstoke area for the past five years, since losing his job as a classroom support assistant. No charges were ever levelled at Naso during this period, and he cited wanting to be closer to kids as his reason for leaving and setting up his entertainment business.

Mrs Panther, who recently booked Naso for her son's sixth birthday party was horrified at his remark.

"I thought there was something odd about him at the time," she said. "He told some quite dubious jokes while he was making balloon animals."

One such joke made the local papers: "What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and sticky? A frog in a blender. What's red and sticky? Your dad's porno mag."

Naso has protested his innocence at a sex offenders hearing at Basingstoke Magistrate's court. He claims that the joke was intended for the parents in the room, who found it funny at the time, whereas it went over the kids' heads. He also insists that when he said he 'liked' children, that he meant in a friendly way, and has no interest in them in any other way.

However, the witch hunt continues, and it is unlikely that Noso will be allowed to work with children again, even if he is acquitted due to a complete lack of any evidence whatsoever.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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