Written by j.w.
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Topics: Andy Coulson

Saturday, 6 November 2010

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Coulson's Budgie in Her Prime Ministering

Andy Coulson, David Cameron's Communications Director was uncommunicative today when your intrepid reporter asked him some questions. Just back from the Police Station I clearly upset Coulson by calling him at a time of personal distress.

His Budgie had stopped talking to him and would not respond to Andy's pleas for conversation.

When I asked Coulson if he had approved of illegal phone tapping by staff at the News of the World when he was editor he was uncommunicative. 'How can I talk when Sally is so unwell?' he asked me.

Clearly Cameron has picked the wrong man. He doesn't communicate with his Budgie and is not doing his job.

Harriet Hartman, Labour's Deputy Leader, claims Cameron's lack of judgement over employing Coulson is nearly as bad as her own when declaring that all ginger Toms were Scotsmen.

Having listened to several people convinced their phone messages were intercepted by News of the World journalists, or people working for them, when Coulson was the editor I have come to the conclusion that there are questions to be asked.

Why is the Coulson Budgie, Sally, not speaking to him? Is she unwell or is she drugged? Have people been hearing voices which are not there? Is paranoia essential to good Government?

I am convinced that the Police will give us answers but I could be totally deluded.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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