London - (Reuterus): The Prime Monster's spin doctor Andy Coulson has thumbed his nose at all the questions.
Routine News of the Screws bugging of 'royal' mobiles had been no different to eavesdropping on fake shaikhs, the ex-redtop editor claimed.
Of course, now he's government Director of Communications he's a lot less likely to spill the beans.
Questioned by awesome Yates-of-the-Yard Coulson suggested that 'if the whole world already knew' that Prince William is really one of Gorgon Brown's little bastard shoo-ins, so bloody what?
That just left 'Prince' Harry's real paternity following a right royal redtop success in smearing ex-Princess Di shagger James Hewitt.
This weekend a straw poll among geneticists at the government-owned National Poisons Unit said 'Harry's' real birth dad 'is also a British Prime Minister'.
The two 'real' princes Wills and Harry are believed to be buried in Kensington Palace's veggie patch, shot by Charles one dire cocaine-fuelled weekend-from-hell circa 1986.