Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Saturday, 6 November 2010

image for British Army will no longer carry weapons into battle
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In late breaking news, it has been announced that the British Army will no longer march into battle carrying weapons.

The Ministry of Defence has received several complaints from members of the Taliban in Afghanistan. The complaints describe the traumatic scene winessed by Taliban fighters, when British soldiers are advancing on them, heavily armed and looking as ferocious as hell. One fighter, Abdul Wifestoner, said "You have no idea just how frightening it is, they are far more terrifying than the Russians ever were".

General Sir Baldrick Brick-Shithouse, Commander of British Land Forces, said "Carrying weapons is not good for our image. We are not there as aggressors, we are there to help the people rebuild their country. We have decided to adopt a different approach completely. Instead, we want to engage and entertain the people".

It is understood that, in future, all soldiers on active operational duty will be issued with rubber chickens and be required to wear a fez.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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