Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Saturday, 6 November 2010

image for Queen Furious To Miss Pompey As She Bids Farewell To Ark Royal
Putting on a brave face on a sad day.

It was almost more than the great royal heart could stand - not only was she bidding farewell to her navy's flagship, but she had to miss her other great love.

HM the Queen visited HMS Ark Royal at Portsmouth yesterday to say "goodbye" to the great flasgship - the aircraft carrier is a victim of the Government's defence cuts and will be sold or cut up for parts.

Visibly moved, Her Majesty reviewed the crew and seemed to linger over the recently refurbished monarch of the sea.

But a royal household insider says there was much more going on in the regal heart.

"HM was not only sad to see the great boat cast aside, she was furious that the cretinous coalitian government morons made her visit the ship at Portsmouth when the local football team was away for the weekend.

"Pompey play at Derby on Saturday evening and although she knows she can catch the game live on Sky, she would have liked to have been able to see them at Fratton Park. It's rare that she gets the chance to see her beloved Blues at home.

"She's not happy at what is essentially an avoidable schedule cock-up."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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