Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Friday, 5 November 2010

image for One Direction Planning X-factor Defection to Dark Side
Psycho Boy management drink blood and eat nails

Two members of the boyband One Direction are believed to be planning to defect to the dark side of the music business. They have been offered an undisclosed amount of money to leave Simon Cowell's stable of manufactured music puppets and sign to Psycho Boy Management group.

In return for this massive sum of cash they will be expected to make a very different type of music that may shock their current fanbase.

The news comes as tensions within One Direction are beginning to reach breaking point over individual popularity polls. An insider close to the defectors say the boys are believed to be Harry and Liam, and that Psycho Boy Management have big plans for them.

Psycho Boy are the uber cool, bad boys of the music management world and they laugh in the face of people like Simon Cowell. If Liam and Harry are going to succeed within an organisation like that then they will have to learn how to toe the bad boy line and live lifestyles that attract negative publicity in a very dangerous way.

Insiders at Psycho Boy Management think they could turn Harry and Liam into the new Libertines. And for this purpose, the Record Management group are going to send the boys to live with Pete Doherty in Paris for a month in the hope that he will show them the ropes..and probably the lines as well.

The other boys in the band are thought to be furious and that is believed to be what is causing all the rows. They say they feel like Take That after Robbie left in the 90s, even though they weren't even alive when Robbie was in Take That the first time round.

Consolation has come, however, from the comforting words of the grandaddy of the X-factor house. Wagner has said he remembers the nineties and, yes, it was a bad time for Take That...but in the naughties Take That came back from the dead and shocked the world with their musical genius.

Nial, Louis and Liam are believed to have also taken solace from the fact that the Libertines eventually became so psycho they imploded and tried to kill each other...not like Westlife or Boyzone who all stuck together (and with Louis Walsh) and reaped the financial benefits of their collective friendship.

Simon Cowell is believed to be incandescent with rage, however, and he says he will never forgive Psycho boy records for poaching the stars from his show. Friends say he will get his revenge, eventually. And when he does... Psycho Boy will learn the meaning of the word Psycho in a very unpleasant way. Simon has a new Rottweiller, she's called Cher and she eats Psycho Boys for Breakfast. There could be carnage of a Hip Hop management type...alla Tupac and Biggy Smalls.

To Be Continued.

By Katarina Frogpond.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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