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Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for Striking BBC hacks warned about missing news story-of-the-decade 'like the Queen dropping dead'
Bastards are planning to top me this weekend, George, do something quick!

London - (Rioters): "Fat chance, mate," is how the Beeb's NUJ father-of-chapel summed up the odds this afternoon.

The 48 hour walk out will see a widespread Guy Fawkes weekend news blackout.

Hacks are hacked off about austerity measures messing with the ultimate sacred cow - their hard-won BBC pension pots.

Even treasured national events like the annual Royal British Legion remembrance shindig at the Albert Hall are off-menu.

"What happens if the Queen drops dead suddenly during the strike?" incredulous Newsfright presenter Kirsty Wark chortled this afternoon.

"Fuck all happens, that's what. Besides, I'm a republican and couldn't give a toss either way."

At BBC HQ this evening program schedulers were preparing wholesome quasi-newsy archive material to broadcast in place of the usual bulletins:

Fluffy interviews with Princess Diana circa 1982 and Cliff Richard singalongs at rainswept Wimbledon semi-finals will surely delight a detoxing news headline starved public.

Susan Boyle is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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