Written by j.w.
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Topics: Aliens, Mars, Immigration

Thursday, 4 November 2010

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The Red Planet Bars Immigration

Plans to colonise Mars by sending volunteers with one way tickets are facing a major setback. Martians have issued a five star injunction stopping immigration to the Planet.

'First you call Mars a Red planet of Wars, then you want to invade without being asked' explained a Martian Immigration Minister 'the Earth is not going to bring its drug crazed anti-social aggression to our peaceful world.'

However, Chief Pilot of the newly formed 'Mars is Marvellous' project, Dan Dare - no longer pilot of the future - made a timely remark: 'We don't just want to exploit anything we can find on Mars' he announced to a packed press conference at the local Confectioners 'we also want to teach the Martians to be civilized.'

One way tickets are being snapped up by Bankers trying to avoid paying taxes. 'Bringing money to Mars will benefit the planet tremendously. Before they know where they are we will solve their economic crisis and put their mismanaged economy on a sound footing.'

RyanAir are offering special cut price tickets to those who book seats via the Internet. 'The Bankers will need someone to do the work on Mars as the locals are lazy layabouts. We will help the project by offering to give working people the trip of a lifetime.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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