Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for Suicide bomber fears as Yemeni photocopier found up Queen's arse
Does one's bomb look big in this?

London - (Gunpowder Plot): Friday's annual Palace Bonfire Night bash has been cancelled amid fears the Queen may auto-immolate this weekend.

A routine medical scan found one of the missing Yemeni photocopiers buried up Her Majesty's arse, its inkjet cartridges packed with PETN.

Early reports suggest HM hadn't really noticed the equipment - possibly because it resembles standard NHS colostomy kit issued to all octogenarian royals.

But a brand new diamond-encrusted iPhone given to Her Maj by grateful Qatari relatives of Prince Philip last week may just hold a vital clue to the suspected Guy Fawkes weekend events.

Commenting on the find today Royal Protection Racket cops said the copier explosives could be detonated by SMS texting from the Qatari gift mobile.

"Typically a message like 'Where's the bloody pizza I ordered two hours ago?' text could trigger the fatal explosion," a Bomb Squad source confirmed this afternoon.

Charles and Camilla are in hiding in Birkhal.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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