Written by Sidney Bollocks

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Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for BBC apologises to Geldof for Band Aid slur
The original concept for Band Aid, which was dropped

In the heady days of the mid 1980s, Band Aid, and the subsequent Live Aid concerts, were just what was needed to end third world famine and poverty.

Bob Geldof was elevated from mediocre pop singer to saint status overnight. A pop record sold millions to send money to feed Africa, followed by the rise of a whole new generation of pop star 'ambassadors'.

Lately, however, a storm has been brewing and the BBC now finds itself having to apologise for a perceived slur against Band Aid.

The problems began when Radio 1 DJ, Bruno Bollocks (no relation), suggested that the song 'Do they know it's Christmas?' was shite. He questioned whether this was really the cream of British pop talent at the time. "I mean, Paul Young, Boy George, Bananafuckingrama, Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet, Sting and that Midge Urea. Not exactly top drawer talent. Where were the Pistols, the Damned, Stiff Little Fingers and the Dead Kennedys? The only good one on it was Phil Collins. I just love that 'don't fuck with me' expression he has on his face when he plays the drums. I suppose it was also nice to see George Michael not stoned for a change".

The BBC has broadcast grovelling apologies on all its networks and has stated that 'Do they know it's Christmas?' was, in fact, a lovely song. Interestingly, the BBC's suggestion that Band Aid funds were diverted to buy arms for rebel groups in Ethiopia, appears to have gone almost unnoticed.

Saint Bob Geldof was unavailable for comment, as he was busy negotiating a Boomtown Rats Reunion World Tour. Gigs are believed to have been finalised in Belfast, Londonderry, Brixton, Clacton and Slough.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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