London - (Slush Fund News): A new twist on the classic Nigerian money laundering email scam has rocked the House of Lords this week.
Self-confessed banker to the IRA Lord James of Blackheath told astonished peers on Monday that a very important - albeit anonymous - organization had contacted him to broker a massive, no-strings attached £22 billion investment in the UK.
Directors from the Orifice of International Treasury Control apparently asked him to explore the investment of this massive sum in exchange for....diddly squat, nothing, zilch, nada.
Bigwig Noble Lords he'd discussed the project with had doubled over in fits of uncontrollable laughter when Lord James explained the 'absolutely no catch' situation of the deal.
James then went on to say that he was a very experienced sort of chap as his biggest ever City clients 'had been the IRA' whose £1 billion-worth of ill-gotten filthy lucre laundering he'd personally overseen.
Astonished peers listened intently as Lord James went on to describe how he'd got short shrift from the Governor of the Bank of England ("Ya gotta be kidding, mate, this one's got N-i-g-e-r-i-a-n money laundering scam written all over it!") whom he'd consulted about the potential investment.
Treasury officials were equally galling, asking if the men from the Orifice of International Treasury Control had sought other, more traditional ways of buying an English passport: ("Think Hinduja Brothers!")
Such rampant cynicism is water off a duck's bank to a man of his considerable City experience.
An update will follow shortly.