Scotland - (Rioters): Royal Protection Racket cops were in a tense shoot-out standoff with the desperate royal wannabe's parents last weekend, it has been reported.
The incident took place on the anniversary of Kate Middleton's uncle Gary Goldsmith being outed by UK red tops as a cocaine-peddling braggart.
Michael and Carol Middleton's OK Corral-style confrontation took place in the grounds of Birkhal which Charles and Camilla have sequestered from the Crown Estate.
Armed with deer-stalking equipment and 12-bore shotguns the social climbing nonentities were snapped aiming at Balmoral defences.
They are believed to be demanding a slice of the $5 billion handout that the Queen raked in from Qatari 'Fake Shaikh' and his consort Shaikha Mozzad during last week's state visit to Windsor Castle.
The slush fund is understood to be earmarked for a royal wedding spectacular next year.
A spokesman for Buckingham Palace said today the Middletons were proving to be 'a bit difficult' despite the royals bending over backwards to erase the October 2009 cocaine dealing controversy surrounding Goldsmith.
"Of course it goes without saying that a new Royal Warrant for pharmaceutical services is unlikely to be awarded before Kate and William's nuptials," Lord Chamberlain the Lord Luce-Cannon said today.
Prince William's first wife, Duchess Ayesha of Afghanistan, is apparently pregnant with the couple's fourth child.