Written by IainB
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Topics: Prison, Voting

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

image for Prisoners to get the vote?
Pentonville Prison last week

The European Union has stated that it is unconstitutional to remove the ability to vote when somebody goes to prison. Currently Britain is trying to be excepted from this particular edict.

The initial objection was that it was too difficult to transport prisoners back to their own constituencies. This was overturned by having them vote in the ward in which the prison is based. However, British MPs are still sceptical.

In order to prove a point, prisoners at Pentonville were allowed to vote in the recent by-election in Islington.

"Twelve prisoners managed to escape," said chief warden, Lucas Haround. "They went into the voting booth and never came out."

It is believe that with help from the outside an escape tunnel was built into the booth, allowing the prisoners to slip out. The escape plan was quickly stopped by setting up a polling station inside the prison itself. One prisoner escaped inside the box, whilst the Free All Prisoners Party managed to gain eighty-five percent of the vote. They stood on the platform that they would release every Pentonville inmate, and won by a landslide.

"Perhaps letting people who are banged up for fraud have a vote is a bad idea," said the Warden. "Somehow, despite only having twelve hundred inmates, we managed to get thirty-three thousand votes coming out of the prison. All for the same party."

The escaped prisoners have all since been recaptured buying lottery tickets in a supermarket; whilst a recount has managed to get the Free All Prisoners Party's share of the vote down to fifteen, which would mean the second placed candidate for the BNP would become an elected MP.

"We're leaving the Free All Prisoners Party candidate in," said ConDem spokesman, David Hasselhoff. "It's the lesser of two evils."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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