Written by Sidney Bollocks

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Topics: France, Army

Monday, 1 November 2010

image for UK forces to come under French command
Some pommes frites

In a shock new move, UK military forces will work alongside their French counterparts, including the possibility that UK troops could be under French command.

As well as land forces, the Royal Navy will pair with the French fishing fleet. Also, in the absence of any French aircraft carriers, the Royal Air Force will train pilots to land their planes on lilos and other flotation devices, commonly found in the waters of the Mediterranean.

Concerns about a possible language barrier were dismissed. The Commander of UK Land Forces, General Sir Pierre de Pigalle, said "Language should not be a problem. Under French command, UK soldiers will only need to understand the orders for 'retreat', 'surrender' and 'run like hell'. The boys are also happy knowing that, if they do have to go to war, it will only be a very brief affair and will be accompanied by plenty of good red wine."

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