Breaking News - Prince William and Kate Middleton today announced that they would be attending the wedding of William Duckworth Chad, to Miss Henrietta Huzzah Merrieweather - the twelfth wedding the couple have attended together.
When asked if at some point, the next wedding the couple would attend may actually be their own, on account of a possibly impending baby pregnancy, Prince William answered that he doesn't really know.
Apparently there is some history - in the finest British tradition - connected to this union, as the mother of William Duckworth Chad had the young Lady Diana Spencer as a bridesmaid at her own wedding in 1969
Lady Diana was Prince William's mum - until she encountered a fatal mishap in a tunnel close to the Pont D'Alma in Paris, a sad incident which has been much lamented ever since. Especially by Ali G and that Egyptian bloke who had passport issues.
But all that's by the by.
William Duckworth Chad works for estate agents, Grabbem & Split, like, selling houses and stuff. Henrietta Huzzah Merrieweather works as a ferret sexer - which apparently can make your hands a bit malodorous. Depending on the ferocity of the ferret.
William Duckworth Chad's sister, Davina Duckworth Chad is apparently a bit tasty and was once romantically linked to Prince William - but he didn't have the time to do the nasty as he had a pending helicopter flying lesson. He says he has no regrets, but many independent observers don't believe a word of it.
On the positive side, Prince Chaz was reportedly delighted by the Duckworth Chad union, saying:
"That'll do for me cocker! Providing they don't get spliced in some monstrous red brick carbuncle of a church on some sink hole estuary estate. Even if it is in Kent. I'd love to show up in person and sing 'Bat Out Of Hell' on the karaoke. Kinell! 'Ave some o' that ya bastards!"
More as we get it.