It is official (the Queen has not heard though). Rasputin the well known diladante and black magic artist will join the British Cabinet in the post of Borderland Czar. He will report directly to David Cameron, thereby eliminating any leaks going to the News of the World.
Reaction has been mixed as one would expect, we English are not known for welcoming foreigners into our cabinet and telling us what to do. Ken Livingstone said if he is willing to work with me when I'm mayor then I can see Londoners benefit form his work, of course I would have to follow him round the world and introduce him to left wing friends of mine like Chavez, Gadaffi and Kimmy Jong (if he is feeling well).
Anne Widecome replied in typical trailer trash language saying: I'm a born again christian, I always walk with a stake in my bra (do us all a favour).
If Rasputin tries any funny stuff I will let him have it whether I'm on my back or on all fours.