Written by Morse
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Saturday, 30 October 2010

image for Scandal! 2,700 London Firefighters Moonlight As Spoof Writers!
Fireman Earl Grey Enjoys a laff While Waiting for the Airport Limo in Moscow After Getting Alarm in London!

An intensive investigation of what's hot and what's not, has revealed that over 2,700 of London's 5,900 firefighters are moonlighting as Spoofers, and collecting a housing allowance while NOT living in London!

To encourage the public service employees to Live in the area where they are expected to provide firefighting services, the Department adds over $8,022.60 per annum to their salary to make up for London's 'high cost of living."

In a shocking revelation just revealed by Wikipedia, who dumped over 40,000 pages of classified Fire Fighting Docs on the internet late Friday afternoon, it can now be revealed that some firefighters live as far away as Russia and Thailand, and some as close as The Isle of Wight....and all are expected to commute when they hear the fire alarm go off!

In a recent incident a fire at a kabob shop in Piccadilly, the fire was well out and the shop completely rebuilt by the time XXXXXXXX(name redacted) arrived out of breath from Pattaya, Thailand where he is The Spoof Correspondent at large while running a stable of Lady Boys as part of a local tourist destination

In another incidence of a lorry fire on the M5, XXXXXXXXX(name redacted), arrived not only late, but obviously inebriated after working his shift at a local pub owned by the Spoof.com.

Yet another outrage occurred when Firefighters from Hook & Ladder company #4 waited 8 hours bent over with their pants around their ankle waiting for the Fire Fighters Union Proctologist Dr. XXXXXXXXXXXX to arrive from Canada where he moonlights as a fishing guide.

The firefighters, who work one day on, and then have 2 months off, said they are dismayed that there have been threats to change their union working arrangements, and have even threatened to strike during next weeks New Labour Book Burning Protest over cuts to the UK economy.

"Fire Fighting is boring work, really," said ginger haired Hose Reeler "Sparky" Firestone, " this Spoof thing is just fer fun, innit? No harm dun then issit? We don't get paid nowt, and the allowance they gave us is just a way of working for the Spoof for nothin'...it's only fair, innit?"

Meanwhile local man Martin Shuttlecock wasn't so cavalier about the subject. According to neighbors Shuttlecock was the victim of a cruel prank last week when he fell asleep tending his rabbits in the back yard and a family of Romanians set his shoes on fire.

"It was 'orrible," said neighbor Mohammed O'Shannahan," jumping up and down he was, waiting for the fire brigade! Didn't take him long to figure the BASTARDS weren't coming....put the fire out himself....pissed on his feet...ruined a good pair of shoes and a perfectly good pork pie hat trying to smother that fire.....they ought to take their hoses away and make them blokes work for a living, that's wot I say!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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