Written by Nick Hobbs
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Topics: Marriage, Garden, Shed

Saturday, 30 October 2010

image for Shock: Woman Collapses After Seeing Husband In Shed
The cup of tea that Mr Partridge never got.

Mary Partridge, 48, of Elm Court, Wellingborough, collapsed outside her home last night, in a 'terrible state' say witnesses.

The shock occurred when Mrs Partridge had gone into her back garden to locate the whereabouts of her husband, Stanley.

Detective Kenneth Tobey tells us "Mrs Partridge noticed the disappearance of her husband, after calling out to him from the kitchen, to see if he'd like a cup of tea. She had left him some hours earlier watching the TV, but when no reply came she entered the sitting room, and discovered the TV was off and his seat was vacant."

Mrs Partridge called out for her husband, looking upstairs, in the lavatory and even in the unlikeliest of places, such as the laundry room.

"She couldn't see him anywhere, but then her attention was drawn to some unrecognised noises from outside," Tobey continued, "Entering the rear garden, she could see the light on in the shed, and some of it's former contents were in neat piles on the lawn."

Frightened and confused, Mrs Partridge called out her husbands name.

"We understand that Mr Partridge was indeed in the shed. He claims he was bored indoors, and that there was nothing on the television worth watching," said Tobey "he decided that rather than watch pointless telly, he would go out into the garden and clean out the shed, as his wife had been nagging him to do for over four years."

"Upon seeing this event unfold, Mrs Partridge suffered an acute, overwhelming anxiety-fed, full body shut down manifestation. She fainted, right there, on the spot."

Mr Partridge was said to be deeply upset that his actions, although intentionally well meant, had caused such a shock to his beloved wife.

He has vowed never to do anything again, and to sit through the most pointless of television in the future, rather than risk shocking his wife again.

Mrs Partridge is making a full recovery, and her husband some tea and toast.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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