Following the discovery of exploding ink cartridges in airports across the developed world, the British Uniformed Liability Limiters have met today at the Secret War Rooms deep underground in Corsham Computer Centre (close to the only 7* hotel with availability) to ground all non-essential flights entering UK Airspace.
Under the terms of the urgently released statement, BULL announced that with immediate effect only planes carrying the Royal Family, Cabinet Members on their holiday breaks and football stars will be permitted to enter airspace controlled by the UK from its Air Traffic Control Cetres such as the one at Swanwick, near Fareham.
Spokesperson OB Laden representing the Afghan interests to the UK was asked by this office for comment.
"I am delighted to support the rest of the Liability Limiters by sanctioning that all flights are suspended unless we say otherwise. I personally have today authorised two flights, one bringing British Troops from Iraq and another bringing representatives from the Alli-Quallida political party to London."
American Representatives previously walked out of the meeting arguing that suspending all flights would mean that their ambassadors from the World Wrestling Entertainment organisation were effectively banned from entering Britain. They later confirmed that they had been permitted to allow one plane to enter British Airspace and chose a Royal Mail twin prop aircraft from Glasgow Airport to Heathrow called BlackFlyer as it was being used by "persons not to be identified".
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