Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 28 October 2010

image for Egyptian Book of the Grateful Dead on display at museum
From the Dead's Live at Geezer album cover

London - (Pyramid Scheme): London's Museum of Natural Hystery is staging a display of the 3,000 year-old manuscript recording Jerry Garcia's ancient Nubian ancestry.

The document was found stuffed deep inside the Sphinx's throat after the band played their iconic Great Pyramid Scheme gig in Giza in 1978.

It describes the average Deadhead's voyage into the afterlife and issues a stark prophecy about 'accursed Liverpudlian scarabs' - thought to be a reference to Beatle John Lennon's 1980 New York assassination.

Museum curator Professor Einstein Flintstone said today that radio carbon dating of papyrus fragments 'had shown a remarkable similarity' to other ancient artefux such as the Grateful Dead Sea Scrolls, the Turin Shroud and Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa.

Were Garcia's Nubian ancestors all involved in in this wholesale artifice?

"Nah, they were just puppets of the Illuminati!" Flintstone asserted today.

The exhibition opens this weekend and runs until April 1st 2011.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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