Written by IainB
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Topics: Derek Acorah, Jedi

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

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Ormskirk, the spiritual home of the Jedi

The most egalitarian psychic medium on the planet, Derek Acorah, has adopted the Jedi faith as his own in a public knighting ceremony on Tuesday.

The medium, who has been seeing dead people since he was eight, and was the inspiration for the film 6th Sense, has decided that the morals and attitudes of the religion are the ones that he wishes to adhere to, plus he likes the outfits.

Ken Hobbie, the chief high palatarch of the Jedi order has welcomed the news that a true psychic wonder has joined the force bearing cult.

"He is everything that the order needs," said Hobbie, "He is already in tune with the force that pervades all things, and allows us to see our passed brethren. In addition, with a name like Acorah, he already sounds like a Jedi. We've asked if he'll drop the Derek part of his name, but he refused."

Acorah's ceremonial brown sack-cloth robe was personally presented to Acorah at his knighting ceremony in Ormskirk, the home of the UK Chapter of the Jedi Knights.

It is expected that Acorah will rapidly rise through the ranks of the Order, displaying as he does, mystical powers. The move of a world famous celebrity A-Lister, such as Acorah, into the Jedi religion, is expected to see an increase of membership applications from other gifted celebrities, such as Uri Gellar and David Copperfield.

"This can only be good for Jedis as a whole," Hobbie stated.

The Jedi religion is based on the fictional works of George Lucas, unlike the Scientology religion which is based on the fictional works of L Ron Hubbard, and the Catholic religion that is based on the fictional works of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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