Written by Noddy Bigears
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Thursday, 23 June 2005

image for Queen to watch Prince William collect university degree in the geography of Eigg
Eigg Island Attracts All Types

Eigg is the second largest of ‘The Small Isles' and is located in the zone between the Isle of Skye to the north and the Ardamurchan peninsula to the south. Eigg, at some 8km by 6km is more than large enough for its 60 inhabitants.

The Queen, Prince Charles and other leading Royals are due to attend Prince William's graduation ceremony at St Andrews University today, the University offers a wide range of degree courses but is world famous for geography degrees in small islands.

The most popular geography degree at St Andrews is the study of Aravena Rock which is quite appropriately, a large rock south of Canales Island. The exact location has been calculated to being a precise 62 ° 29' 54" S, 59 ° 41' 30" W.
However, the most gifted students prefer to study larger islands such as Eigg or indeed the outstandingly academically gifted may even opt for the study of the whole of the British Isles and its subjects.

Prince William is second in line to the throne but Palace insiders may be considering creating the Kingdom of Eigg so that the young Prince can have a chance to practice being a King within a defined geographical zone. Hence, Prince William would become King William of Eigg. Indeed, there are actually certainly enough islands for all the royals to become Kings and Queens.

The earlier history of Eigg was a disturbing and sadly troubled time marred by bloody clashes between the different clans or other slaughters. In 617, St. Donnan and 52 of his monks were murdered for no apparent cause. Worst came in 1577, when the MacLeods suffocated some 395 MacDonalds whilst trying to smoke them out of a cave on the southern side of the island. The cave is still known to this day as Massacre Cave.

Prince Harry's antics may lead him to be considered to be only suitable for the uninhabited South Sandwich Island well out of the reach of the media searchlight where as Queen Camilla may well be awarded St. Michaels Mount in Cornwall although it is expected to have a name change to St. Charles Mount leading to the full title of Queen Consort Camilla of St. Charles Mount.

The quiet and unassuming Prince William is expected to be welcomed with open arms by the resident MacDonalds at the Isle of Eigg especially as the forthcoming coronation is expected to dramatically increase tourist numbers compared to those that just study the islands geography. Prince Charles is believed to have set his heart on being the King of Australia but a recent referendum by Australians clearly rejected this and indicated that they would prefer him to be Queen of the Poms.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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