Western capitals have been shaken by the revelation, from President Karzai of Afghanistan, that Iran's Dinner Jacket has been sending bags of urine for the President's use.
Karzai uses the precious pee, straight from Iran's nuclear instillations, to help his crops grow in his back garden. 'The Poppies are doing fine with Iran's urine' he said 'much better than American dollars.'
American sources confirmed that in the past sacks of dollars have been given to War Lords and the President to keep them on friendly terms, never realising that urine with special added nuclear power was what the Afghans wanted.
Dinner Jacket has also been supporting Karzai's enemies, the Taliban, because the Taliban are against the Americans. They are against Karzai too but not so strongly. A Karzai/Taliban Coalition on the British model is a definite prospect for this troubled land.
It would mean Karzai breaking many promises but he would still have ample supplies of urine. The Taliban would also have to compromise by allowing women to sneeze in public.
David Cameron explained these 'progressive moves' pointing out that you couldn't stand still.'You either go forward or backwards'. President Obama, rapidly going backwards, could only agree. 'The special relationship with Afghanistan means everything to us, we will keep our Afghan friends on board.'