Written by Juan Blood
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Tuesday, 26 October 2010

image for Tory Old Goat embarasses the Con dems
Dont hold me too tight Darlink we are in vublick

In today's world where a sneeze on one side of the world can give someone in another part of the world flu. I am here to report some news that happened less than a few hours ago and boy is it causing shockwaves at Downing street.

Michael Heseltine remembered by many for grabbing the mace and propelling himself in to the labour ranks to have a punch up with the very skinny Dennis Skinner MP for Bolsover. This event was if memory serves me correctly about 17years ago.

Heseltine (known as Hezza,Tarzan and even called by some as Weismuller). Hezza cuts a forlorn figure in the Houses of Parliment, drinking from his brown paper bag and cackling to himself. He has unlikely friends by the name of Tebbitt and Widecombe.Tebbitt well known in the 70's for his mantra "get on your bike "(he failed to realise this is not China or Cuba where people get on their bikes)

In an outrageous outburst on CNN news Hesseltine claims Cameron has got it wrong, its not cyber attacks or terrorists we should worry about IT IS THE UNHOLY ALLIANCE OF THE LEFT.

his rent a mob security company had infiltrated the radical left wing group Millitant, you may recall Millitant only a few months ago claimed to have infiltrated the 1922 Committee and the unheard of 1932 committee.

Hesseltine, his voice in very emotive tones said his security guards had told him Bob Crowe is being tutored by Arthur Scargill, Scargill who many felt had long given up trying to bring the country to its knees is promising railworkers free oil from Libya courtesy of Colonel Gadaffi. Wedgewood Benn presides over the lot of them giving a veneer of respectability.

Hesseltine warned:" we ignore this threat at our peril. If the Government goes ahead with its cutbacks the Left will bring a stop to transport,there would be no coal, and no speeches from wedgie Benn."

Cameron was annoyed at these revelations, The CON- DEMS have a a newly formed quango waiting to do some public work and this would be their first job under enemy fire. Hessa should have gone through the proper channels and not go public via the media.

(Back to Hesseltine at the CNN news studios)

Norman Tebbitt interrupted Larry King to say "Remember the rivers of Blood, dont forget the rivers of blood, not in my lifetime but it could be in yours". CNN security escorted Tebbitt out of the studio.

Hesseltine turned to Lary King to say we must not let it happen. If it happens in the UK, it will happen tomorrow in the USA. Hesseltine emphasised each word with his unshaven eyebrows moving in synchronicity to his words.

Larry King turned to Anne Widecombe who had been nodding in agreement. Widdicombe shouted, Crowe and Scargill are the antichrist, the devil incarnate.

What about Wedgewood chimed chimed Larry King, he is pure pottery said Widdicome , We were an item at one stage she said, but he would not marry me because of my panty size. I told him they could be a life saver but he said not with them around my neck they couldn't.

Larry King signalled security who came and took Widecombe away. Widecombe could be heard saying "Young man don't touch me I am still a virgin yu know." The guard retorted prove it and then said "on second thorts don't bother"

Hezza continued ... in your country you have an enemy within just as we do. Larry King was by now fed up with Hezza.

A commercial break was called and Hesseltine was led off to a padded police cell in the bowls of the studio to await his flight back to the U.K. Hilary Clinton personally stamped his passport with the words "personna non gratia"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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