Written by Gabhan O'Buachalla
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Topics: Kangaroos, disco

Thursday, 21 October 2010

image for Kangaroo feared Dead after Disco Terror
Notorious Dublin Drug Dealer - Skippy

"The incident happened during a 30th birthday party in a Dublin nightclub. People were just dancing away when a kangaroo appeared on the dancefloor! A guy started dancing with the marsupial and put his hand down it's pouch but an altercation broke out between them. Before bouncers could intervene it appears the Kangaroo escaped" - Disco Stu

However, later CCTV footage outside the nightclub car park revealed the kangaroo was forcibly pushed into the boot of a black hatch back which drove off at speed.

The Irish Police force are investigating the matter

"We believe it may have been a drugs deal gone bad. Kangaroos are the ultimate drug dealers, we can't even prosecute them. The Kangaroos are highly trained by the criminal gangs, they have a pouch to store drugs, sharp claws and can jump away fast. We believe this particular Kangaroo's life is in grave danger and urge members of the public to contact the Gardai in they see anything out of the ordinary" - Detective Garda Buckley

This isn't the first time exotic animals have fallen foul of drugs gangs. Earlier this year a penguin was kidnapped from Dublin zoo and interrogated by a notorious rival gang before being released onto the street in an intoxicated state.

The kangaroo was known to police and the Australian embassy have been kept notified of events.

His family have urged members of the public to come forward

"Skippy was such a good kangaroo, he got a working holiday visa to go to Ireland but the booze got to him and he became involved in drugs and prostitution" - Skippy's Mum

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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