London - (Stand & Deliver News): She's said to be gobsmacked after Royal Protection Racket cops foiled a Palace abduction attempt on the mystery Eurosquillions winner.
Months of secret phishing expeditions using an adapted Stuxnet virus had seen Old Fatty Mountbatten repeatedly try to hack into the lotto computer.
Last week security officials became suspicious when royal spin doctors claimed the anonymous ticket holder 'had been sent to Coventry' before discovering the loathsome kidnap plot.
This afternoon the Queen was being shunned by disgusted anti-terror officers drafted in to nail down the identity of the unnamed jackpot victor.
Massive online speculation that the coalition government's equality/poverty tsar was the lucky sod have now been dismissed by the media as a lot of cack.
Ex-Tory treasurer Lord Ashcroft stupendous $5 billion Belize fortune may well get a sudden and unexpected filip when the current lotto furor dies down.