Written by Nae mair crap
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Tuesday, 19 October 2010

image for Right, Royal rumpus over RAF closures
destroy my natural habitat would you?

It is reported that HM the Queen is angry that other royals are fighting a rearguard action to save the RAF bases at Kinloss and Lossiemouth on the Moray Firth, Scotland.

Philip of Macedoine is reported to have blasted the Secretary of Defence, Liam is sly as a Fox over the impending closures.

The Queen's husband is alleged to have had dangled the foxy one over a high bannister at Buck House when the Defence Secretary would not endorse the Greek Royals preferred buyer status for the bases. Phil has learned that Donald the Trumpet, a US national and multi billionaire would be acquiring the bases as he continues his land grab in Scotland.

He plans to build several exclusive golf courses and many hundreds of ranch style mansions on the prime Scottish land. This, despite the areas known exposure to floods and the virtual destruction of the water table by the local authority.

HRH Prince Will I Am, recently qualified air sea rescue pilot, is more than slightly miffed. He may never serve at these bases and will not be able to use their runways with easy access to Balmoral, where he hopes to spend his widely reported, impending honeymoon in 2011.

His brother, one brave guy, Prince Harry,is not fussed. "There's no China Whites nearby and I can't be arsed with the local pubs. The local totty just does not do it for me." he is reported as mumbling by the society pages of Tassler.

News that Bryanair will begin cheap flights to the bases in 2011 has not impressed, the heir to the throne, HRH Charley Wales. He is alleged to have used the ecology card once again as he protested that all these tourist flights will spoil the air quality.

HM the Queen, just wants peace and quiet nowadays and waved away protests.

"We are all in this together" she said, "perhaps Mr Trump will build a Harrods for me to visit after all these years shopping in those village shops."

Liam Fox will never be knighted.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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