The Ministry of Defence has announced today that, from early next year, the Royal Air Force will be getting rid of all of its aircraft except those used to ferry officers, MPs and minor royals.
In a massive cost cutting exercise 327 fixed wing aircraft and 139 helicopters are to be put on Ebay.
The Defence Minister quelled dissent on the back benches b announcing an order to buy 25 radio controlled model aircraft, from Toddlers' Toys Ltd, and assured the 7 MPs in the chamber that this was sufficient to keep all the RAF pilots' skills honed.
All RAF airbases are to be closed and leased to the Ministry of Justice to build more prisons and all model aircraft will be flown on Highgate Heath.
A knock on benefit for the Ministry of Defence is that the two new aircraft carriers will now each be only 9 feet (3 metres) long and will weigh in at just 3 cwt each. These too will be radio controlled.
Rear Admiral Ivor Scuttle commented, "This is a sad day for both the Navy and the RAF; once forces have been scaled down it is rare to get them back to their original size again."