Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 18 October 2010

image for Vegetarian Freaks Out - Orders Bacon Sandwich Then Goes On Meat Binge
Aaaaarrrrggghhhh!!! Where's The Meat?!!! Show Me The Meat!!!

Local kebab shop and burger van entrepeneur, Ali Bullo today related how a passing staunch vegetarian lost the plot and ordered a bacon sandwich from a burger van parked by Swanwick railway station in deepest Hampshire.

According to reports, the vegetarian disembarked from a train at the station en route to a job interview as an order picker at a nearby wholesale warehouse, when he became overwhelmed by the aroma of sizzling bacon frying on a hotplate in Ali Bullo's burger van.

The man rushed to the burger van, seemingly in a state of near hysteria and started shouting for a bacon roll with brown sauce on it. HP - nothing else would suffice. And it had to be back bacon. Not that streaky stuff.

People looked on in alarm as the vegetarian devoured the bacon roll in a state of apparent euphoria. Having demolished the bacon roll, the vegetarian then ordered a chilli cheeseburger, which he ravenously devoured. Then he ordered a sausage sandwich with lashings of ketchup and English mustard.

"Me not know what his problem was," Ali Bullo explained. "Him just went proper mental for bacon roll. Then him have chilli cheeseburger and sausage butty. Was a bit bladdy scary really mate innit. Him look like mad mental maniac. Then him run off up road shouting that him want steak and fried chicken and shish kebab. Me never seen nothing like it in life mate. Him like raving bloody headjob nut case. But him leave two pound tip so is okay."

Skoob News managed to catch up with the lapsed vegetarian outside Kam's Palace Chinese restaurant in Park Gate, and it is with deep regret that we must report that the vegetarian man appeared to be having some kind of mental fragmentation episode.

"It was the smell of the sizzling bacon what done it!" he cried as they loaded him up in the ambulance. "That bastard Ali Bullo has ruined my life!"

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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