Written by Mike Gatspy
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Sunday, 17 October 2010

In an extraordinary show of solidarity, Queen Elizabeth II has announced that she is to renounce all her royal income and privileges in order to show that "we are all in it together" as the government prepares to trample all over her subjects in the name of fairness.

Elizabeth, who would have been above the retirement age over 20 years ago but should be OK now, has decided to undergo an intensive two week training course in order to learn how to recognise a duster and switch on a hoover before changing her name to Posz Szpunsza and looking for work as a cleaner for just under the minimum wage.

She has allowed herself one luxury... she will keep the corgis, who will be useful when times get hard and she can't afford to go to Lidl's for food.

Phil is calling himself Costas and working in a kebab shop in Hackney.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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