The News of the World made a sensational report today with secret cameras revealing Muggers in the City.
At a secret location a NOW secret agent with a camera in her lapel filmed a well known City magnate claiming benefits for his children who are attending private school.
'Examine my Bank balance in this country' the unsuspecting Gent told the secret agent 'you will see there is nothing there!'
'But I thought you were rich' yapped the agent.
'Oh, I am. But it is not in my bank balance. That's so I can claim benefits for my children to go to school.'
'But how do you do it?'
'The money is in the Cayman Islands.'
'How clever' replied the NOW secret agent licking her lips and thinking 'I've got him!'
The paper goes on to reveal this is only the tip of the iceberg. Funds are being sunk in every tax haven in the world by wealthy City fat cats who can thus avoid taxes and claim benefits for their nearest and dearest.
George Osborne, forewarned of this revelation wrote an article describing how he is going to come down on these 'muggers', as he called them.
'They are robbing this country and are immoral sharks. At any time this is disgraceful, but at a time of financial crisis it is like mugging old ladies.'
Friends of Osborne cannot believe his statement. 'I thought he was one of us' sneered one. 'He has broken every promise he has ever made' claimed another.
But now the real truth can be told. The 'News of the World' made it all up so they can remove Osborne and get a real hardliner into Number 11, Attilla the Hun!