With the Government completing the spending review the Defence industries are feeling under fire. But a solution to their problems has emerged and our briefings tell us of remarkable last minute UK deals.
We learn that Trident is back in favour and that it will be up against the new and deadly attack from Cyberspace. This will enable the Military forces to be reduced to one person with a finger on the button.
'Woe betide any geek or enemy conspirator who wants to upset my tweets and facebook page' threatened a grim faced George Osborne 'we have Trident up our sleeve and this will deter even the most sophisticated Cyber attack!'
Reduction in the Armed forces to one person will save millions of pounds. The LibDems are relieved as they can keep their word to save the free Bus Pass for the elderly.
'We said it at the election' an ebullient Nick Clegg reminded us 'that the free Bus Pass for those over 65 was safe in our hands. Now elderly people can go free on the bus knowing that Trident is poised to deal with any threats on this country from Cyberspace'.
'I was going to get on the internet but I was worried' said Bertha Bute ninety year old housewife from the Isle of Bute 'now I know that I will not be infiltrated by enemy attack and can safely join in the fun.'
The men and women discharged from the defence forces may add to unemployment problems but a solution is at hand. They will be employed by a charity to set up market gardens in South East England so the country can become self-reliant on food.