Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Shark

Thursday, 14 October 2010

image for Jaws enters British waters!
Beware Brit surfers and water-rats, you could end up on a Great White's plate!

The great white shark better known as Jaws has definitely entered British waters, scary!

Unknown before, Jaws that majestic beast who loves a surf board, piece of leg or the 'full monty' has been seen swimming off the coast of Britain looking very hungry.

Great White specialist, Horatio Onepegleg, gave the following explanation why the great white feels quite comfortable swimming around the UK:

"They're mainly here because normally they feed on South African/Australian surfers who tend to be skinny, low fat and taste quite sour."

"Their British counterparts remind them of fat seals because Brit surfers tend to eat much more junk food, they're much porkier and great whites love junk and a bit of sweet fat, keeps them warm in the winter!"

Cornwall surfers have been warned not to drift out too far searching for the ultimate "wipe out" waves, they could return legless, boardless or not even at all, except their heads.

Coastguards have also warned lost tiny tots in their rubber ducks floating out to sea on a strong westward current (where were those parents?), don't scream or kick your legs, Great whites love a piece of easy, tender meat!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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